Should You Talk About a Prenup Before Getting Engaged? Why Early Conversations Matter

Published on: 18 Mar 2025

When couples think about getting engaged, the focus is often on romance—choosing the perfect ring, planning a memorable proposal, and imagining a future together. However, one important topic that many couples overlook is financial compatibility and whether a prenuptial agreement (prenup) should be part of their future marriage.

Many people assume that prenup discussions should happen after engagement or right before the wedding, but bringing up the topic before getting engaged can actually be a smart move. Having an open, honest conversation about finances early on can set the foundation for a strong and transparent relationship.

In this article, we’ll explore why discussing a prenup before engagement makes sense, how to bring it up, and why more couples are choosing to have this conversation earlier in their relationships.

1. Why Talking About a Prenup Before Engagement Is a Good Idea

For many couples, a prenuptial agreement isn’t about planning for divorce—it’s about setting clear financial expectations and protecting both partners. Discussing a prenup before engagement can help couples:

Avoid surprises later – Talking about finances early prevents uncomfortable last-minute discussions closer to the wedding.

Understand financial goals and values – Money is one of the top causes of stress in relationships. Discussing finances early builds trust.

Ensure both partners are comfortable – A prenup should be a mutual agreement, not a demand. Giving both partners time to process the idea can lead to a more productive discussion.

Waiting until after the proposal—or worse, just before the wedding—to bring up a prenup can cause unnecessary tension. Many engaged couples feel pressure to finalize wedding plans, and introducing legal and financial discussions at the last minute can add stress.

By having this conversation before engagement, couples create a healthier, more transparent financial relationship.

2. How to Approach the Prenup Conversation Before Getting Engaged

Bringing up a prenup before engagement can feel awkward, but there are ways to approach the topic that encourage openness and understanding.

2.1. Choose the Right Time and Setting

The prenup conversation should happen when both partners are relaxed and open to discussing long-term financial planning. Avoid bringing it up during an argument or in a highly emotional moment.

Ideal times to discuss a prenup include:

When discussing future plans, such as marriage or homeownership

During financial conversations about savings, debt, or income

When talking about career goals, family wealth, or inheritances

A natural way to start the conversation is:

"I was reading about financial planning for marriage, and I think it’s important for us to discuss how we want to handle money if we decide to get engaged. Have you ever thought about a prenuptial agreement?"

This phrasing keeps the conversation neutral and invites an open discussion.

2.2. Focus on Financial Planning, Not Divorce

One of the biggest misconceptions about prenups is that they mean a couple expects to get divorced. In reality, prenups are about clarity and fairness, not separation.

Frame the conversation around:

Long-term financial planning – A prenup is part of smart financial management.

Transparency – Discussing finances before marriage builds trust and prevents future surprises.

Mutual protection – A prenup ensures that both partners’ interests are safeguarded.

For example, instead of saying:
"I want a prenup because I’m worried about getting divorced."

Try:
"A prenup is a way for us to align on financial expectations and create security for both of us."

This approach makes the conversation less intimidating and more constructive.

2.3. Highlight the Benefits for Both Partners

A prenup is not just about protecting one person—it benefits both partners by setting clear expectations. Some key advantages include:

Protecting pre-marital assets – Ensures that businesses, savings, or family inheritances remain with the original owner.

Avoiding financial disputes – A prenup can prevent money-related conflicts during the marriage.

Clarifying debt responsibility – If one partner has significant student loans or credit card debt, a prenup ensures the other won’t be responsible for it.

Reducing stress in case of separation – While no one plans for divorce, a prenup provides a clear financial framework, reducing potential legal battles.

By focusing on fairness and financial stability, couples can approach the conversation in a way that feels positive rather than negative.

3. What If Your Partner Reacts Negatively to the Idea of a Prenup?

It’s natural for some people to feel uncomfortable when the topic of prenups comes up. If your partner reacts negatively, here’s how to handle the situation:

3.1. Listen to Their Concerns

Many people have emotional reactions to prenups because they associate them with lack of trust. Instead of dismissing their concerns, ask questions to understand their perspective:

"What worries you most about a prenup?"

"How do you feel about discussing finances before marriage?"

This approach shows empathy and keeps the conversation constructive rather than defensive.

3.2. Reassure Them That It’s About Planning, Not Doubt

Remind your partner that a prenup is not about expecting divorce—it’s about making smart financial decisions together.

You can say something like:
"A prenup isn’t about expecting anything bad to happen, just like car insurance isn’t about expecting to crash your car. It’s about making sure we both feel financially secure, no matter what happens."

This analogy helps reframe the conversation in a way that feels logical and less personal.

3.3. Give Them Time to Think About It

If your partner is resistant to the idea of a prenup, avoid pressuring them. Instead, give them time to process the information.

You might say:
"I don’t expect you to make a decision right now. I just wanted to bring this up early so we could think about it together."

By making it an ongoing conversation rather than a demand, you create space for both partners to consider the benefits.

4. How prenups.ai Makes the Process Easy

Many people avoid discussing prenups because they assume the process is complicated. However, modern tools like prenups.ai make it easy for couples to create a legally sound and customizable prenup without hiring expensive lawyers.

Why Choose prenups.ai?

User-Friendly – Our platform guides you step by step through creating a prenup.

Affordable – Avoid the high costs of legal fees.

Customizable – Tailor your prenup to fit your unique financial situation.

Legally Sound – Ensure your agreement complies with legal requirements.

By using prenups.ai, couples can approach prenup discussions with confidence, knowing they have a straightforward and affordable way to formalize their agreement.

5. Final Thoughts

Talking about a prenuptial agreement before getting engaged might not seem romantic, but it is one of the most responsible and forward-thinking conversations a couple can have.

By discussing a prenup before the proposal, couples can:

Ensure financial transparency and trust

Avoid last-minute conflicts during wedding planning

Set clear expectations for financial management in marriage

If you’re thinking about getting engaged, consider having the prenup conversation early. It might just be the key to a stronger, healthier financial future together.

Ready to take the next step? Start your prenup today with prenups.ai and build a marriage based on trust and clarity.

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